So many thoughts...

If I actually kept up my blog, I could probably get all my thoughts down, but just writing occationally, I tend to have so many "posts" in my mind that I just dont know where to start. I'll try a few brief things.

Homeschooling. We're doing half of gr1 this year and half next year with our 6 yr old. I'm amazing how little I'm doing and how much he's learning. Now, he is in kindergarten part time (just for fun) so he is learning there too. One of the gr1 mom's told me that her kids are actually behind him. But, that whole class is behind, I guess it's a hard class. Now, I had been tossing the idea up of just keeping him in school, he could be with his friends and have fun. And I'm so glad that I explored that idea. I think as parents we need to look at the whole picture, not just our ideals. I see some really good things about going to school. I just don't think I see it that way for MY kid. I think I've already blogged on that though. All this to say, I'm feeling more solid in my resolve to homeschool. I don't like the pressure of school at such a young age and it hasn't been good for his attidude.

My kids are so funny. Emily just cracks me up. She's got so much joy wrapped up inside her, I hope she never looses that. Today she was very proud of herself. I had sat down with her and looked through some books then gone into our other living room and sat with the older kids for a few minutes. Usually she just follows me where ever I go. She didn't this time, I sat with them enjoying the moment of not having her climb all over me, wipping snott on me and squeeling in my ear. Then I started to wonder, are those books really keeping her this happy for that long? We're talking maybe 5 minutes, which is a very long time for a 1 yr old! I kept thinking she would just walk in any minute, but still, totally quiet. Weird. Warning bells going off... Then I heard Nate crying, he'd been sleeping in the bassinette in that room. Ok... now I know she went over there and woke him up, I'd better go check, since I KNOW she's not reading books (duh). Me, being silly and trying to do too many things at once, had left out our hooked on phonics kit (which I never use btw, someone gave it to us, is it good?)and she had taken everything out!! A huge mess everywhere, including one of the tapes being unwound all over the living room floor! Her name means "Industrious" . It suits her... Truly, I feel like I just walk around after her and clean up in the wake of Tornado Emily. She's just so darn cute while she does it too.

Levi taken to thanking me that I'm alive. His best friends mother passed away in January. It didn't really seem to affect him that much as he only saw her a few times, they mostly played at school together. He went to her funeral with us but it still didn't seem to affect him much. I think it's starting to sink in. I feel so sad for his little friend. My heart just breaks for him.... It just doesn't seem fair.... I am glad that Levi is aproching this all with a thankful heart. Pray for this little guy if you think of it.
More rambling thoughts. This apple I'm eating tastes discusting. I've got a terrible cold right now, perhaps the apple is fine and it's just screwing up my taste.
Nate. He's 5 months old now, well, almost. I've felt so tired and worn down that I've almost considered quitting breastfeeding. Now, if you know me, you would know how shocking that is. I believe in natural! I'm all for babies nursing till they're 2, it's a wonderful bonding moment. But I've just had two babies in two years. I'm so tired. I'm so done. I feel like I'm spread so thin. So for now, I'm taking it one feeding at a time. I know I would always regret it if I stopped. I just wish I could feel ahead, instead of behind. I think on that note, I'll go fold some laundry. This has been lovely, writing for a bit. The big kids are outside on the trampoline and the babies are sleeping, at the same time, a miracle. Oh, Kayla's just come in fussing... *sigh*